


Devoted

by maple_tree



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, idk where this is going but here, probably gonna be more chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-04-06 00:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19051372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maple_tree/pseuds/maple_tree
Summary: Sua wakes up with Siyeon on her mind. Sua ends up with Siyeon on her bed. Sua doesn't know how this happened but she doesn't care.





	1. Pizza

There’s a lot Sua is devoted to. Her work, her dance, her singing, her members, her Insomnias. She’s proud to call herself dedicated, to receive praise from the manager about how she’s worked so hard, for so long, the longest out of the group.

But there’s one thing which she’s especially devoted to.

She thinks about it almost every night, lying under Yoohyeon and her snores that almost drown Sua’s thoughts out. Almost. Sua can’t sleep because of it. Outside of the dorm, she hears cars sweep by and it distracts her, momentarily. She thinks about who’s in the room next to her and her breath quickens, involuntarily, just like it always does.

Lying on her back, Sua closes her eyes and starts dreaming. She starts dreaming of the girl sleeping soundly next door. In her dreams, Sua is free to do anything she wants - and Sua wants her so much. Sua wants to touch her, to grip her hand, to look at her lips and then kiss them, as long as she wants. In her dreams, Sua is devoted to Siyeon like clockwork, like the sun setting every night.

Sua wakes up all too soon.

She pulls herself out of bed and pokes Yoohyeon to wake her up. Their room has no window and it feels too stuffy. The sun must’ve risen by now, but when she pokes her head out of their room, she sees Siyeon sitting at the table alone, tapping away on her phone.

“A game?” Sua asks.

She receives an adorable nod in return and slides down next to Siyeon, eyes almost crossed focusing on the screen. Sua wraps an arm around her and breaths in her shampoo, and underneath it, the scent Siyeon always carries on her clothes. Her eyes close.

They stay like that for a long, long moment. It’s rare to find a time like this.

Knowing that it might not last too much longer - hearing the sound of Yoohyeon’s snoring stop - Sua takes a second (or a few, or too many, Sua doesn’t care) to watch Siyeon.

Siyeon’s breath hitches as she dies on this platformer she’s playing. Her lips pout as she waits out the five second respawn time, and it’s enough that Sua can grab her attention. Sua blows into her ear, Siyeon yelps, and looks at her with a scrunched-up nose that makes her look more adorable than anything else. Sua returns the expression with a smile that she can’t hold back, and Siyeon bares her teeth in a grin. It’s become a game between them - they try to make the other smile, to laugh, pushing it so far that sometimes they both end up losing their minds. Sua _adores_ it.

Her urge to tickle Siyeon is interrupted by Yoohyeon, who had arrived like a breath of wind at the table. She peers over to Siyeon’s game and taps the screen, grinning when Siyeon huffs as she dies again with the distraction and throws down her phone.

“I’m not playing anymore,” Siyeon whines, pulling herself out from Sua’s hug, and opens the fridge to find breakfast. Sua feels the loss keenly, but settles on watching, again, how Siyeon looks with mild distaste at the leftover pizza, but brings it out anyways.

Yoohyeon mimics Sua’s posture, lying down on the table, making it way too cramped; Siyeon huffs again at how they’re taking up all the space.

“Move.”

“No.” Yoohyeon smiles cutely.

“Yoohyeon, I’m hungry.”

“You have a pizza.”

“Yes, but -” Siyeon shakes her head, knowing Yoohyeon is pestering her again. “Alright, I’ll eat, but you better not move.”

“What?” Yoohyeon’s confusion is soon replaced with protests as Siyeon sets down the pizza tray on her back. Siyeon holds her from moving, and the sight of Siyeon’s hands on Yoohyeon makes Sua feel slightly ill. Yoohyeon pokes her head into Siyeon’s stomach - perks of being tall - and Siyeon makes this noise that turns Sua’s nausea into dizziness. It takes all the breath away from Sua and makes her blush all the way down to her toes.

Preoccupied, Sua jolts when Siyeon moves the tray over to her back - no, that’s a lie; Sua only jumps when Siyeon’s hand brushes past her waist. When she expects it, the touch is calming, soothing, but now, in the early morning when her brain hasn’t propped up her self-composure yet, Sua nearly falls apart. Siyeon’s standing behind her and balancing the tray carefully across her shoulder-blades.

“Wait, what do you think you’re doing?” Sua manages a retort, glad that her voice isn’t wavering.

Siyeon pats her shoulders. “Having my breakfast.”

“Well, I’m not about to be your table!” Struggling, Sua scoots backwards. Her movement is stilled by a pair of hands on her hips, right where her bones are. Trapped. Siyeon pats them again but nothing about this is remotely playful to Sua - she feels like she’s just been dropped underwater, and can’t breathe. Damn early mornings and damn Siyeon, Sua thinks as she stops protesting.

Siyeon, satisfied, begins munching on pizza. “Tasty. Yoohyeon, have some too.”

“What, you’re just ignoring me now? Your senior?” Sua isn’t ready to give up yet.

“Ah, it really is tasty. Have some, senior citizen~” Yoohyeon brings a slice to Sua’s mouth and Sua’s disorientated momentarily. Sua bites down and it’s full of flavour. “Yeah, it _is_ good,” she agrees.

“That’s right! Even the table likes it.”

Ten minutes pass like that, Siyeon and Yoohyeon joking around, Sua interjecting with protests that just get a laugh in reply. It’s not a big bother to her, though. Siyeon’s hair brushes past her vision every now and then when she leans over to laugh, and Sua inhales the scent like it’s her oxygen, or something like that. Taking the next chance she gets, Sua bites at a stray strand of hair and holds it in between her lips. It’s a bold move, reminiscent of the time she did it in front of everybody at a fansign. Maybe this time, she’ll get a real reaction out of Siyeon.

“Wha - Sua!”

Sua flashes a grin with the strand of hair still caught in her teeth.

Siyeon looks affronted. “I thought I was the wolf in the group, but apparently not anymore.” She tugs her head away but Sua doesn’t budge.

“You're still the wolf - that’s why I’m putting you on a leash. You’re mine now.”

Sua wasn’t sure if that was too possessive, but Siyeon’s face says it all - her eyes go round and her jaw drops open, which was her typical expression put on for anything mildly shocking; but, on her cheeks, Sua seems to see a blush. And Sua’s heart nearly bursts. Siyeon whirls around in mock fright, Sua having let go of her hair now. Sua’s never been one to control her emotions - she doesn’t see any need to - and so she scrunches up her eyes and lets out her chortling laugh. She opens them to see Siyeon with her hand over her mouth and looking down at the ground, and she’s so pleased with this that she starts shaking with laughter.

“Ahh - oh my god - Sua!”

It’s Yoohyeon’s voice and even she is holding her hand to her mouth. Sua continues to laugh, unable to contain her smile at Siyeon’s stunned expression, until the pizza tray starts sliding.

Sua’s eyes widen along with Siyeon’s and Yoohyeon yells in her high-pitched voice as the tray slips, tantalisingly slow, in front of their very eyes. Helpless, the three watch in agony as the half-full box turns vertical and begins to drop.

“What’s so funny?” Handong opens the door to her room.

Splat. Yoohyeon, the only one facing her, smiles in that innocent way that is almost, _almost_ convincing.

“Oh my god.” Handong shuts the door. They hear her plead to Gahyeon, saying 救命啊 in the most anguished voice ever. Sua can feel Siyeon's body shake as she fights to contain her laugh.

In the deafening silence, Yoohyeon whispers “That means save my life please,” and they _lose it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a plot somewhere but it aint here yet


	2. Van

Their van is pretty cool. Comfy. Quiet. No, that last one’s a blatant lie. Their van is never quiet.

Sua listens to Handong practise her Korean and tries to fall asleep. They’re coming back from a long, long day of practice at the company, and even Sua, as main dancer, feels the muscle soreness creeping up on her as she reclines in her seat. Sighing, she rubs her eyes and is nearly about to drop off into dreamland when she catches a breathy voice directly behind her, singing the lyrics to _And there was no one left_. It’s unmistakably beautiful, and it’s unmistakably Siyeon.

Sua didn’t know that the song could be so calming. Siyeon’s voice sweeps over her and suddenly she doesn’t feel sore anymore. It’s hypnotizingly slow; the way Siyeon sings it, it’s like it’s a ballad, or something acoustic. The words _I want you_ float through the gaps between the seats and Sua feels them echo in her chest. Soon the beat drops, and Sua hears the click of Siyeon’s fingers in time with it. It’s like drops of water. And Siyeon, she sings like she’s a waterfall, her voice pouring from her as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. Sua holds her breath and wonders how long it’ll take before she has to come up for air.

It’s not long before Siyeon stops singing and exhales (Sua hears her every move) and leans back to go to sleep. It’s not long before everyone is asleep, actually, and the van is as quiet as it gets. Even now, there are trills from their phones and the chuckles from the manager at whoever is texting them. And it’s not long before Sua is swept off to sleep, carried away by Siyeon’s lingering voice.

~

Midnight.

Sua wakes up with a sharp inhale and starts to place her surroundings when she feels a hand on her shoulder. Siyeon’s face swims into view. “Wake up, Sua, we’re back.”

It’s a mild surprise but it’s not at all unwelcome. Sua smiles a thank you and gathers her things up - she notes that the van is empty save for them, and again is struck by how silent it can get. Hopping out, she hears laughter in their dorm above her, but the sound is muted and feels further away than it usually is. The light from the window spills out in waves as people move in front of it - they’re as lively as usual.

Behind her, Siyeon slides the door shut with a dull thud.

“Why’d you wait for me?” Sua starts patting her on the head.

Siyeon bends down meekly and it’s the cutest thing Sua has ever seen. “Because you looked tired, so we thought we’d let you sleep a bit more.”

“Ah,” Sua raises her eyebrows. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”

“Cause we know you would’ve slept there for the whole night.”

“You could’ve called me.” She starts tickling Siyeon’s ears. “You didn’t need to stay.”

“There doesn’t need to be a reason, does there? I just wanted to.”

“To what?”

Siyeon pouts, and grabs her hand as they climb the stairs. The silence is telling of something, but Sua can’t figure it out. It seems that these moments only come when she’s half-asleep - the moments when Siyeon really seems in her grasp. She yawns and she hears Siyeon’s chuckle.

Up the stairs they go, and then Siyeon drops her hand to grab her keys. Sua’s hand winds around Siyeon’s waist, steals the keys, and traps her in place. Leaning against her back, Sua pretends to fall asleep again - stilling her movements and slowing her breath - and she’s in real danger of actually dropping off, if not for Siyeon’s whine. It dissolves into a whisper that Sua can barely catch.

“Maybe we could stay like this forever...”  

And left with that feathery thought hanging there (Sua’s still not sure if she’s heard her right), Siyeon sighs and holds her body still. The silence falls over them like a quilt. Sua inhales once, twice - she holds her breath for a moment, hearing her pulse race in her ears and then the slow rise and fall of Siyeon’s breathing - then nuzzles into Siyeon’s back and opens her eyes. She catches Siyeon’s widened eyes before she flashes her a grin and opens the door without looking back. Her heart is pounding but she struts in like nothing has happened.

“You’re late! And it’s already super late anyways, so that makes you doubly-”

“Yeah yeah - like this is the first time we’ve stayed up until midnight,” Sua retorts to Jiu’s scolding. Turning her head, she watches Siyeon haul herself through the door with a dazed look. Jiu waves her hand at Siyeon.

“Look, this kid is tired too. We may be used to sleeping this late, but not on training days, and especially not on dance days. We all need to-”

“I’m not that tired...” Siyeon pauses and looks up at Sua, and her heart leaps at the same time she gulps. “I’m actually pretty awake. Look”. Siyeon strikes a pose that makes Sua laugh. “I’m fine.”

Jiu narrows her eyes. She still doesn’t want to stop worrying - and Siyeon’s always been a bad liar, but this time Jiu can’t seem to see any signs of it. So she drops it and turns back to the rest. And Sua is glad that the rest turn away from them two, as well.

Sua beckons Siyeon towards her and hands her the keys. “Here. And thanks for taking me upstairs, I know I was almost asleep by the time we reached the door.”

She looks almost solemn as Sua mentions the door. She takes the keys and also Sua’s hand along with it, squeezing it tightly. “Next time, just don’t fall asleep on my back.”

“It was comfortable though.” Sua smiles, and decides she’ll take a chance in her own sleep-deprived, delirious state. “I could’ve stayed like that forever.”

Siyeon bites her lips and lets her fingers intertwine closer with Sua’s. “Yeah,” she swallows, “I could’ve, too.”

Perhaps it’s the lateness of the whole situation, perhaps it’s not, but they continue to hold hands and to hold gazes. This close, Sua sees the laugh lines around Siyeon’s eyes and the minute movements of her eyebrows. She hears Siyeon’s every breath, she sees her lips part as if to say something - but when her gaze shifts back up to Siyeon’s eyes, she’s looking away and Sua sees for real a faint blush on her cheeks. Sua scratches at the skin on Siyeon’s hand and their eyes lock again. There’s something to be said here, but for one of the few times in her life, Sua can’t get a word out. So she stares. She stares like there’s no tomorrow. And it’s probably past 1am already, it’s already tomorrow, so why not spend some time just here…

Siyeon’s eyebrows begin to furrow, in that slow way that she always does - gradually, Sua is met with a severe frown, and it’s intimidating if not for the pout Siyeon also holds.

“And you say you’re not tired.” Siyeon’s tone is accusatory, but Sua just laughs and closes her eyes to avoid Siyeon’s gaze. The thing is though, that she can’t seem to open them again. She teeters, and then falls forward, and she dimly hears Siyeon’s yelp followed by the yells of her other members.

“I’m fine,” she struggles for a while. “I’m awake-”

No, she isn’t awake, actually. Sua loses consciousness in Siyeon’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this over a week half-asleep with the weight of 89 years of history revision weighing on me so it's not the best, but here. here it is.


	3. Lipstick

It’s a well-known fact that Sua loves lipstick. Her collection is by far the largest out of all of them, and she has so many that the others come into her room to try out new colours, joking that she’s almost a makeup shop. Sua doesn’t mind it. She especially doesn’t mind it when she sees her favourite colour on Siyeon’s lips, even more vibrant and beautiful than it usually is.

Sua is possessive. That’s a fact everyone’s learnt by now. Part of it probably comes from how her older brother used to steal her stuff a lot - so now she’s grown a firm attraction to anything she owns. It’s not like she won’t share; it’s just that she likes to know where everything is, and what’s happening to it, and who has touched it - actually, she is a little too possessive.

It was a problem once, when the group was still trying to get to know each other. Handong, who was just settled into Korea at the time and who barely knew the group and the language, took one of Sua’s newly-washed purple sheets by mistake. Sua had just returned from a long, unproductive day at the studio - she ended up yelling at Handong. It wasn’t the proudest moment of her life. The look on her members’ faces after she came out of the room with her sheets sublimed her anger into shame. And Jiu (bless their leader) took Handong’s shoulders without a word. Her disappointment hung in the air like thick, thick fog - Sua deposited the sheets on her bed, pushed past the others silently, and sprinted down the stairs to get out into the street.

Breathe in, breathe out.

“I’m such a jerk.”

Sua began scolding herself mentally. Her actions and words were uncalled for and she’d ruined her first meeting, basically, with Handong. And what for? A blanket that was worthless in comparison to everything she’d just lost. She’d lost the start to the friendship she could’ve had. She’d lost the trust of her younger members - they’d think she would also blow up at them over such a petty and meaningless thing - who even gets that angry at someone making a simple mistake? An idiot, clearly. Was she even worthy of being part of the unnie line?

And she’d lost -

“Hey, hey, Sua, I can hear you overthinking!” Siyeon’s voice barged into her spiralling thoughts.

Sua blinked. “I’m not overthinking.”

“Really.”

“Look,” Sua closes her eyes. “Why are you here? Did Jiu send you to scold me?”

“Yes, and no, because she knows you’d be scolding yourself so much harder than she would -”

“So why are you here?”

Siyeon drew back at her tone, and Sua had to remind herself to check it. She should actually check every emotion she ever will have as well, including -

“Sua. Don’t.”

“Don’t _don’t_ me, okay? I’m your elder and -”

“You’re not acting like it.”

Heck. That was true and that hurt. A wave of shame washed over Sua again, and she had to swallow a couple of times before she could try to form any more words.

Siyeon sighed. “Please just listen to me, okay?”

Sua nodded.

“Alright. Jiu sent me to tell you that even though you’re definitely beating yourself up about this way too much -” Siyeon held up a finger to Sua’s lips. “- it’s not helpful or worthwhile. I know that’s vague but that’s Jiu, she’s old and wise so she speaks like a fortune teller.”

Sua chuckled and Siyeon’s eyebrows momentarily unwound. “Yeah, that’s true.”

“Pretty much.” Siyeon picked up right where she left off. “But I think what she means is that it’s not helpful to yourself, because it makes you feel crappy, and it really messes with your head. You’re just spiralling into a huge-ass vortex of bad thoughts, and it’ll probably affect you for the rest of the week.”

“Hang on, you as in general you, or you as in Sua?”

“Of course it’s you.”

“Oh..”

Giving her a smile, Siyeon asked, “So I’ve got it right?”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right, I feel really bad now, even worse than when I came out of the room and saw all of your faces, like I was a bomb or something...” Sua explained without looking at Siyeon, and exhaled. “It really shook me to my senses.”

“Yeah, I saw you were kinda out of it when you left.” Siyeon moved closer, and rubbed her shoulder. “That’s why I’m here - so you don’t go on thinking and thinking and just digging a deeper hole.”

Her touch was so soothing. Sua leaned into it, holding onto that feeling, and when Siyeon wrapped her arm around Sua’s shoulder, she felt her tension drain away. The hug wasn’t anything unusual but that was why Sua loved it; the way she could fit next to Siyeon, the way it felt so instinctive, the way their breathing fell into the same rhythm - breathe in, breathe out. The breeze made Siyeon’s warmth so welcoming, and Sua wanted nothing more than just to lose herself in it. “Thank you.” She patted Siyeon’s hand.

Siyeon smiled and turned her hand up to interlock their fingers. “No problem - I mean, um, it’s what a friend would do, right?”

“Yeah, it is,” and Sua brushed past the word friend, “but, thank you, for always listening and just being here for me.”

“I’ll always be here.” Siyeon said, and Sua paused at the conviction in her voice. She must’ve seemed taken aback because Siyeon laughed hastily and added, “only if you want.”

Was she kidding? “Of course I want you.” Wait. “Here. I want you here.”

Judging by Siyeon’s blush, it was clear that part of her message had gotten through, inadvertently. Sua shook her head and continued: “Thank you - so, so much. It really means a lot, and that sounds cheesy, but, really -”

“It’s alright, like I said.” Siyeon said, quietly. “Anything to make you happy.”

They looked at each other for a long, long moment. Sua’s heart was beating wildly (she could hear her pulse skyrocketing) and she was sure that her eyes were already betraying the warm, warm feeling in her chest; but goddamn, if Sua wasn’t persistent and determined then who even was she? So she held Siyeon’s gaze, wondering all the time if that meant something, if all the things that had happened before actually _meant_ something.

“I’m already happy, with you.” She said, as quiet as Siyeon, staring into her eyes, not missing a beat. Siyeon blinked, rapidly; it obscured whatever was hiding in her eyes, but Sua dared to hope that there was something, at least.

“Stop flirting,” Siyeon whined, “it’s distracting.”

“So you like it?” Sua bumped her forehead into Siyeon’s, and they both chuckled.

Siyeon sighed. “Well, that’s not wrong -” and during the second when Sua gaped and Siyeon gave her a wink that almost made her faint, Siyeon took a breath: “- but I also came down here to actually scold you… I’m sorry.”

Why was Siyeon being so forthright today? Was Sua just tired from all the emotions and guilt she’d felt? Was Siyeon tipsy? Was Sua just overthinking again? All those questions rendered her speechless as Siyeon stared at her, still processing.

“I - no, no, don’t be sorry. I need a scolding.” Sua laughed. “The sudden change of mood just kinda shocked me.”

“Yeah, it was a good mood before.”

“Very good.” Sua winked.

Siyeon’s shoulders shook in laughter, and Sua had to fight back the urge to hug her. But, eventually, when Siyeon raised her head to look at Sua again, her expression was serious.

“I do have to say something.”

“Go ahead, I can take it - I should take it.” Sua bit her lip.

Siyeon hummed. “I just - you know what went wrong, right?”

Sua nods.

“I think…” Siyeon began, and ten minutes of gentle scolding later, she ended with: “But Jiu would probably say it better.”

“No - no, thank you so much.” Sua smiled. And smiled wider when Siyeon blushed. Refusing to look away, Sua enjoyed Siyeon’s bashfulness for a few moments longer before taking her hand. “Let’s go upstairs now, they’ll be worried about us.”

“Yeah.” It was late, way past dinner time, and they both knew Jiu would scold them even more for missing a meal. Sua used the breeze to clear her thoughts and collect together an apology for Handong, but for now - an idea popped into Sua’s head as they started towards the stairwell. When she turned to meet Siyeon’s eyes her heart started pounding again - she got goosebumps, even though it was just early autumn.

She bit her lip, took a deep breath, and kissed Siyeon on the cheek.

To anyone else looking at this scene it would’ve been nothing much, nothing at all; two girls holding hands, maybe saying goodbye for the day, sending each other off with kisses - but all Sua could smell was Siyeon’s shampoo, and all she could feel was the lingering heat from her own cheeks, and despite the rollercoaster of emotions she’d been through this evening - her brain was knocked off its track, and her mind spun with the feeling of Siyeon’s breath so close to her neck.

Surprise was evident in Siyeon’s eyes as she lurched back. And maybe it was the sunset, but Siyeon's face looked rosier than ever. Adorable.

“Thanks.” Sua repeated, grinning even as her own ears heated up.

Siyeon pouted and pinched the skin on Sua’s hand. “You’re annoying.”

“I know.”

“Stop being cheeky!”

Siyeon began pulling both of them up the stairs, not granting Sua even one backwards look. When she turned her head, though, Sua could see the red lip mark she’d left.

Dingy as the lights were on the stairs, Sua still made out the lipstick smudge on Siyeon’s cheek. Sua knew better than ever now to check her possessiveness, but this feeling - she could indulge in it, now, just for a second, right?

Sua had always wanted to wrap Siyeon up in a little blanket burrito and carry Siyeon around with her, always; she liked having Siyeon’s attention and she liked hearing Siyeon’s laugh, she liked dancing with Siyeon alone in the studio, twirling Siyeon into her arms and doing choreos to random songs. And she knew better than to act petty when Siyeon wasn’t around her, but she couldn’t help but feel a deep unease in the pit of her stomach.

It was never right to feel a sense of ownership over somebody, someone’s time, someone’s affection; but Sua craved it and at times she’d venture so, so close to the boundary of unfair jealousy. But this, this was the opposite - she liked seeing the lingering imprint of her lips on Siyeon’s cheeks, and that was simple enough.

Because that mark wouldn’t last. Someone would surely notice it, and Siyeon would laugh and get some wet wipes and erase it, and it would just be like eyeliner or blush and it would be gone in an instant.

Sua stopped short in front of the door to their dorm, not noticing that Siyeon was staring at her.

“Your lipstick is smudged.”

Siyeon stepped closer and brushed her index finger along the edge of Sua lips. Sua thought in that split second that perhaps her obsession over lipstick wasn’t so bad after all.

But as Sua’s eyes refocused on the mark on Siyeon’s cheek, she knew that it had never been a bad idea. And as the door opened to reveal a stern-yet-smiling Jiu, and Handong peeking out behind her, Sua found the biggest smile bubbling up from within her chest; it felt like everything was mellowing out, and everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a long time in the making (as you can tell from my other work, I got distracted by Siyoo, big time), but I'm finally back with some sweet, sweet, cotton-candy level fluff of Suayeon. The comments really warmed my heart; thanks so much! I'm not sure how good this is but I'm gonna put it out there anyways.


End file.
